Fine Art Talking In All Caps

James Sant (British, 1820-1916), “Astronomy”

LOOK BENJAMIN, I CAN ONLY DO ASTRONOMY WHEN I’M WEARING MY SPACE-CRYSTAL HEADBAND! I DON’T KNOW IT HELPS ME FOCUS ON MY ASTRONOMY! I DON’T HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF TO YOU ABOUT MY CHOICE IN JEWELRY, ESPECIALLY ONES I BOUGHT FOR MYSELF! NOT THAT YOU’D KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BUYING JEWELRY! OH YES, I HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN ABOUT “THE HANDMADE BOOKMARK” CHRISTMAS! IT’S A PIECE OF RIBBON BENJAMIN, A PIECE OF FUCKING RIBBON!

theresponsiveeye:

Nighthawks
Edward Hopper
1942

Oil on canvas, 84.1 x 152.4 cm

AWWW FUCK OW MY BACK!!! CAN SOMEBODY COME GIVE ME A HAND SO I CAN STAND UP STRAIGHT? NO!? NOBODY!? NOBODY’S GOING TO HELP THE SODA JERK? YOU’RE ALL JUST GOING TO SIT THERE AND LAUGH AT THE GUY WITH THE ENLARGED SPINAL DISC!? FUCK ALL OF YOU…

MORE LIKE “NIGHTDOUCHES” IF YOU ASK ME

theresponsiveeye:

Girl in White in the Woods
Vincent van Gogh
1882

Oil on paper, mounted on canvas

JOHNNNN! JOHN! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!? IT’S GETTING DARK AND I DON’T CARE ANYMORE IF YOU’RE “THE BEST HIDE & SEEK PLAYER IN HOLLAND”! I HOPE THEY’LL BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY YOUR BODY! K BYE!